MEDIATION AND THE DYNAMICS OF DIVORCE AND SEPARATION
When couples separate, one spouse
generally makes the decision to leave the relationship, and the other spouse is left to struggle with that decision. The person
leaving usually has had the “luxury” of an intact marriage to ponder whether separation is the right choice. That person may take
weeks, months or perhaps even years to finally make the choice to end the relationship. The other spouse may be completely
unaware that his or her partner has struggled with the decision to leave. Alternatively, he or she may be aware of problems
but may opt to avoid or ignore them. When the ultimate decision is delivered, that spouse often has feelings of fear, confusion,
abandonment and distrust.
Psychologists will tell you that the anxiety created
by this scenario is one of the greatest stresses that a person may face in his or her lifetime. In most instances, it is even
greater than the loss of a loved one to death.
Why is this so? The end of a
relationship raises so many fears: fear of being alone, fear relating to the children’s emotional health, concerns about economic
security, fear of being disenfranchised from children, fear of the court system, and fear of the economic impact that prolonged litigation
will have on the family.
If these concerns were not enough, communication becomes
severely compromised, and each person’s ability to trust one another is destroyed. Children are exposed to an environment filled with
distrust, anger and icy silence, and they may continue to be exposed to this atmosphere for years if litigation or negotiation between
attorneys moves slowly.
THE LITIGATED DIVORCE
Operating out of fear
and distrust, parents feel the need to “protect” themselves. Often, attorneys are immediately retained and lengthy, stressful and
expensive adversarial proceedings ensue, which may involve court appearances, depositions and conferences in which clients often feel
coerced into settling their cases. These proceedings, which can last for years, only add greater stress to the existing emotional
crisis that already exists. The psychological and economic impact of litigation on a family can be enormous and, at the end
of the process, both parties must risk a resolution imposed upon them by a judge, who, although competent and well-meaning, cannot
truly know or understand you and your family.
THE MEDIATED DIVORCE
Participating in mediation has significant advantages over litigation. In a safe and peaceful atmosphere, the experienced mediator
will use a myriad of psychologically based interventions and techniques to help you safely and objectively explore settlement options,
spark creativity, avoid or break through impasse and, ultimately, assist you in creating a comprehensive and creative plan for
your future and the future of your children. This plan is in your own words and follows the rules you set for yourselves.
Superior outcomes are achieved in hours, not years. The cost of this process is substantially less than conventional litigation.
The answers to your questions about the mediation process can be found in theFrequently Asked Questions About Divorce Mediation
section of this site. If you are unfamiliar with the mediation process, I suggest
that you read the questions in the order presented. If, after reviewing these materials, you have any further questions, please
do not hesitate to contact me
. I will be more than happy to give you the information that you need to decide if participating in mediation
is the right choice for you.
Also remember that a web site such as this
is merely an introduction to my practice. In my opinion, it cannot take the place of a complimentary consultation.
If you would like to meet with me, please contact me
for an appointment at either my Albany, New York, office or at my Clifton Park,
New York, office.
M. Cohen, Esq.
Albany (Albany) - Amsterdam (Montgomery) - Auburn (Cayuga) - Batavia (Genesee) - Beacon (Dutchess) - Binghamton (Broome) - Buffalo
(Erie) - Canandaigua (Ontario) - Cohoes (Albany) - Corning (Steuben) - Cortland (Cortland) - Dunkirk (Chautauqua) - Elmira (Chemung)
- Fulton (Oswego) - Geneva (Ontario[A]) - Glen Cove (Nassau) - Glens Falls (Warren) - Gloversville (Fulton) - Hornell (Steuben) -
Hudson (Columbia) - Ithaca (Tompkins) - Jamestown (Chautauqua) - Johnstown (Fulton) - Kingston (Ulster) - Lackawanna (Erie) - Little
Falls (Herkimer) - Lockport (Niagara) - Long Beach (Nassau) - Mechanicville (Saratoga) - Middletown (Orange) - Mount Vernon (Westchester)
- New Rochelle (Westchester) - New York (Bronx, Kings, New York, Queens, and Richmond) - Newburgh (Orange) - Niagara Falls (Niagara)
- North Tonawanda (Niagara) - Norwich (Chenango) - Ogdensburg (St. Lawrence) - Olean (Cattaraugus) - Oneida (Madison) - Oneonta (Otsego)
- Oswego (Oswego) - Peekskill (Westchester) - Plattsburgh (Clinton) - Port Jervis (Orange) - Poughkeepsie (Dutchess) - Rensselaer
(Rensselaer) - Rochester (Monroe) - Rome (Oneida) - Rye (Westchester) - Salamanca (Cattaraugus) - Saratoga Springs (Saratoga) - Schenectady
(Schenectady) - Sherrill (Oneida) - Syracuse (Onondaga) - Tonawanda (Erie) - Troy (Rensselaer) - Utica (Oneida) - Watertown (Jefferson)
- White Plains (Westchester) - Yonkers (Westchester)
AREAS OF MEDIATION
- Separation of persons who are not married
- Visitation/Parenting Plans
- Child Support
between family members
- Division of assets and liabilities
- Family business issues
- Tax Ramifications of Divorce
- Adoption Issues
7 Thurlow Terrace
Albany, NY 12203
Tel.: (518) 436-5409
Fax: (518) 455-8907
646 Plank Rd, Ste 206
Clifton Park, NY 12065
Tel.: (518) 371-8608
Fax: (518) 455-8907
• • • • •
Copyright © 2013
Jeffrey M. Cohen, Esq.
All Rights Reserved
• • • • •
“Conflict is simply a place where people are stuck and unable to be relaxed or authentic, and by learning to become unstuck, they
can discover how to transcend not only that conflict, but also similar conflicts.” - Kenneth Cloke, JD. Ph.D. L.L.M., Author of The
Crossroads of Conflict